I hate medical insurance.
I know, I know. "Hate" is a very strong word. It's not often I use that word and truly mean it. But in this case, I feel absolutely justified in my use of it. Medical insurance has caused nothing but trouble in my life. When dealing with cancer several years ago, the insurance carrier who my employer was using refused to pay any of my bills, claiming it was a "pre-existing condition." They stuck me with around $60,000 in medical bills. Needless to say, this has caused some problems in my life. Now today, cancer is once again being... well... cancerous.
After getting all treated and "cured" of all that nasty cancer business, I still have to go in for yearly checkups. I have to get my blood drawn to make sure that my T3, T4 and thyroglobulin levels are good. I have to get an ultrasound on my neck to make sure nothing's regrown. And I have to shake my doctor's hand and say "Thanks for not letting me die!" It's a pretty simple set of procedures, really, but it's costly nonetheless. For that trouble, the doctor's office charges $641. Ouch. Not to fear, medical insurance to the rescue! ...or maybe not. While they were kind enough to get the charges reduced to $221.91 due to "preferred rates" (umm...what?), they didn't actually pay any of it. Not a single penny. Nada. But wait, my work has planned for just such a problem! We have a second bit of coverage titled "Hospital Confinement Indemnity (GAP) Insurance." Yes, that does say "Hospital." No, I did not get this work done at a hospital. Don't worry, I'll come back to that. So now, a few phone calls, emails and hours later, I've got a GAP (is this supposed to be an acronym for something? Because I sure don't see it...) claim form to fill out and send along to this OTHER insurance company. As I am informed by our insurance carrier however, they will not cover the office visit. They will only cover the procedures performed there. So this leaves me with $61.37 (their cute little preferred rate) to pay of an original $641 bill. Not bad; I can handle that. After filling out the form, gathering up my doctor's bill, my original insurance explanation of benefits (in which they explained that they are going to do absolutely jack,) I faxed off all 9(!) pages to the GAP insurance company. Done deal! I should have a check in my hand within 10 days; fantastic!
But wait, you say, what about that "Hospital" business? This is where I get confused. I did not have my procedures performed at a hospital. I have not even been to a hospital in some time (knock on wood) and that is perfectly okay with me. This GAP coverage is specifically worded to be for hospital confinement resulting from sickness or injury. Granted, there is an "outpatient" section under which I may theoretically be covered, but I'm not holding my breath. Our insurance broker is absolutely certain this will be covered. After all, that's exactly why we got this silly second bit of coverage. Why wouldn't it cover it?
I'm just waiting to cringe and bend over at this point.
I hate medical insurance.
16 November, 2011
13 August, 2009
No wonder our nation is obese
You know, it really saddens me (and in fact, enrages as well) to read news headlines, every single day, along the lines of "Weight Lifting Benefits Breast Cancer Patients," and "Health Buzz: Diet and Excercise Protect Brain and Other Health News." Those are just two examples taken straight from Google News today. If I go digging onto individual news outlets, I get more wonderful gems. Take, for instance, this one from CNN: "Could Fat Babies Mean Fat Toddlers?"
Seriously, people? Is our nation really that mentally challenged that we still can't figure out what keeps us at the top of the list of fattest countries in the world? Here, let me save everybody a whole lot of time and sum it all up in one quick sentence: Healthy diet, combined with regular exercise, will keep you healthy.
DONE.
If you want to lose weight, start jogging. If you want to gain muscle, lift weights. If those don't sound attractive to you, take up another hobby involving physical activity; dance, hiking, rock climbing, soccer, swimming, ANYTHING. It's not that difficult of a formula here, people. We're not searching for the elusive Higgs Boson. We're not trying to find the last digit of Pi. It's a simple matter of common sense and paying attention to your own body.
There is, of course, one other important message buried in this rant; most especially in that last paragraph. That message, for those of you who didn't notice, is: If you're not happy with the way you are, CHANGE. Don't say "I wish I was healthier;" do something about it!
If you find this posting offensive, first off, thanks for reading far enough to even become offended. That shows that you found some relevancy here. Second, try to think about why exactly it offends you. Hit too close to home? Think hard. Then do something about it.
Seriously, people? Is our nation really that mentally challenged that we still can't figure out what keeps us at the top of the list of fattest countries in the world? Here, let me save everybody a whole lot of time and sum it all up in one quick sentence: Healthy diet, combined with regular exercise, will keep you healthy.
DONE.
If you want to lose weight, start jogging. If you want to gain muscle, lift weights. If those don't sound attractive to you, take up another hobby involving physical activity; dance, hiking, rock climbing, soccer, swimming, ANYTHING. It's not that difficult of a formula here, people. We're not searching for the elusive Higgs Boson. We're not trying to find the last digit of Pi. It's a simple matter of common sense and paying attention to your own body.
There is, of course, one other important message buried in this rant; most especially in that last paragraph. That message, for those of you who didn't notice, is: If you're not happy with the way you are, CHANGE. Don't say "I wish I was healthier;" do something about it!
If you find this posting offensive, first off, thanks for reading far enough to even become offended. That shows that you found some relevancy here. Second, try to think about why exactly it offends you. Hit too close to home? Think hard. Then do something about it.
24 March, 2009
A new *burp* tasty recipe!
Okay okay okay yeah it's been a long damn time since I've posted... again. Last night though, I made a great new recipe that I just had to share! Best of all, it's easy to make and most of the ingredients you really SHOULD already have available in your kitchen!
So, here we go. There's not really a name for it, but it's got two separate pieces which go together wonderfully. Here they are:
Caramelized balsamic onions
* 1 medium size red onion
* 1/2 stick unsalted butter
* About 1/4-1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
* Healthy sprinkle of black pepper
* Light sprinkle of salt
* Light sprinkle of ground thyme
* 2 tsp sugar
Melt the butter in a skillet over medium-high heat. Slice the onion into half rings, about 1/4 inch wide and add to the melted butter. Pour the balsamic vinegar over top of the onions and stir until they become soft, about 5 minutes, adding the pepper, salt and thyme about halfway through. Once the onions are soft, sprinkle the sugar over the whole thing and let it cook until the onions start to turn golden brown, stirring less frequently.
Once the onions are ready, set them aside and place another skillet onto your already warm burner for the following:
Lemon balsamic tilapia
* 1 clove garlic, finely chopped
* About 1/3 cup balsamic vinegar (enough to fully cover the surface used to cook the fish)
* Slightly less lemon juice than balsamic vinegar. You want about a 4:3 ratio of balsamic to lemon.
* A dash of ground cloves
* Tilapia fillets (I made 3; much more and you'll overcrowd the pan, causing you to lose heat)
Toss the garlic into the pan and let it sizzle for a minute to bring out some flavor. Next, lay the bed of balsamic and lemon juice, being sure that your entire fillets will fit inside this bed. Be sure that the garlic is evenly distributed throughout the bed also, so that you don't get too heavy of a garlic flavor in one spot. Now, add the tilapia on top of everything and put that dash of cloves over top. You don't want a lot, just a hint will do the trick. Cook for a couple of minutes on each side, until it's thoroughly cooked through. This shouldn't take long at all.
To serve, just toss everything onto a plate. There should be plenty of juices in both pans to give you a nice drizzle over top.
Enjoy!
P.S. This also reheats very well!
So, here we go. There's not really a name for it, but it's got two separate pieces which go together wonderfully. Here they are:
Caramelized balsamic onions
* 1 medium size red onion
* 1/2 stick unsalted butter
* About 1/4-1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
* Healthy sprinkle of black pepper
* Light sprinkle of salt
* Light sprinkle of ground thyme
* 2 tsp sugar
Melt the butter in a skillet over medium-high heat. Slice the onion into half rings, about 1/4 inch wide and add to the melted butter. Pour the balsamic vinegar over top of the onions and stir until they become soft, about 5 minutes, adding the pepper, salt and thyme about halfway through. Once the onions are soft, sprinkle the sugar over the whole thing and let it cook until the onions start to turn golden brown, stirring less frequently.
Once the onions are ready, set them aside and place another skillet onto your already warm burner for the following:
Lemon balsamic tilapia
* 1 clove garlic, finely chopped
* About 1/3 cup balsamic vinegar (enough to fully cover the surface used to cook the fish)
* Slightly less lemon juice than balsamic vinegar. You want about a 4:3 ratio of balsamic to lemon.
* A dash of ground cloves
* Tilapia fillets (I made 3; much more and you'll overcrowd the pan, causing you to lose heat)
Toss the garlic into the pan and let it sizzle for a minute to bring out some flavor. Next, lay the bed of balsamic and lemon juice, being sure that your entire fillets will fit inside this bed. Be sure that the garlic is evenly distributed throughout the bed also, so that you don't get too heavy of a garlic flavor in one spot. Now, add the tilapia on top of everything and put that dash of cloves over top. You don't want a lot, just a hint will do the trick. Cook for a couple of minutes on each side, until it's thoroughly cooked through. This shouldn't take long at all.
To serve, just toss everything onto a plate. There should be plenty of juices in both pans to give you a nice drizzle over top.
Enjoy!
P.S. This also reheats very well!
19 August, 2008
Getting Sun's JDK working right in Fedora
This should be an easy task, right? Just download the RPM, install it, done and done. Right? Well, no, not quite.
I've managed to whip up a couple commands that help with the post-install though. Namely, overriding all of the various symlinks throughout the system to IcedTea and GCJ. Here, for your viewing and usage pleasure, is what I have come up with. Please feel free to emend where you deem appropriate, and please let me know if I am missing things!
I've managed to whip up a couple commands that help with the post-install though. Namely, overriding all of the various symlinks throughout the system to IcedTea and GCJ. Here, for your viewing and usage pleasure, is what I have come up with. Please feel free to emend where you deem appropriate, and please let me know if I am missing things!
alternatives --install /usr/bin/java java /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/java 20000 --slave /usr/bin/keytool keytool /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/keytool --slave /usr/bin/orbd orbd /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/orbd --slave /usr/bin/pack200 pack200 /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/pack200 --slave /usr/bin/policytool policytool /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/policytool --slave /usr/bin/rmid rmid /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/rmid --slave /usr/bin/rmiregistry rmiregistry /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/rmiregistry --slave /usr/bin/servertool servertool /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/servertool --slave /usr/bin/tnameserv tnameserv /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/tnameserv --slave /usr/bin/unpack200 unpack200 /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/unpack200 --slave /usr/lib/jvm/jre jre /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/jreYou may notice that I did not include the manpages in these alternatives definitions. This was intentional... because alternatives is looking for gzips and the JDK, by default, does not gzip them. Whatever. I leave that as an exercise for the user. I just didn't feel like bothering, myself. :)
alternatives --install /usr/bin/javac javac /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/javac 20000 --slave /usr/bin/appletviewer appletviewer /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/appletviewer --slave /usr/bin/apt apt /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/apt --slave /usr/bin/extcheck extcheck /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/extcheck --slave /usr/bin/jar jar /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jar --slave /usr/bin/jarsigner jarsigner /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jarsigner --slave /usr/bin/javadoc javadoc /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/javadoc --slave /usr/bin/javah javah /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/javah --slave /usr/bin/javap javap /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/javap --slave /usr/bin/jconsole jconsole /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jconsole --slave /usr/bin/jdb jdb /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jdb --slave /usr/bin/jhat jhat /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jhat --slave /usr/bin/jinfo jinfo /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jinfo --slave /usr/bin/jmap jmap /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jmap --slave /usr/bin/jps jps /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jps --slave /usr/bin/jrunscript jrunscript /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jrunscript --slave /usr/bin/jsadebugd jsadebugd /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jsadebugd --slave /usr/bin/jstack jstack /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jstack --slave /usr/bin/jstat jstat /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jstat --slave /usr/bin/jstatd jstatd /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/jstatd --slave /usr/bin/native2ascii native2ascii /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/native2ascii --slave /usr/bin/rmic rmic /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/rmic --slave /usr/bin/schemagen schemagen /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/schemagen --slave /usr/bin/serialver serialver /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/serialver --slave /usr/bin/wsgen wsgen /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/wsgen --slave /usr/bin/wsimport wsimport /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/wsimport --slave /usr/bin/xjc xjc /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07/bin/xjc --slave /usr/lib/jvm/java java_sdk /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_07
21 July, 2008
Another yummy veggieful recipe
I may not be on my low iodine diet anymore... and it may have been a few years since I've been vegetarian, but I still enjoy experimenting with foods related to both diets. In that light, I made up some totally delicious pasta on Friday evening, which I felt needed to be shared. The idea originated from the Pasta Romantico at Boulders on Broadway, then changed a bit from a recipe found on the side of the pasta box... then received a few changes and additions of my own. A nice personal touch from yours truly.
The resulting recipe has no name, except for delicious. Here it is:
Ingredients:
Preparing the pasta:
Boil 3 quarts water, add noodles to the boiling water, let the water return to boiling, then cook for an additional 3-4 minutes or until noodles are tender. Careful not to overcook! Once thoroughly cooked, drain and rinse with cold water to ensure they don't continue cooking.
Preparing the rest:
In a large skillet, heat up the olive oil. Once warmed up (just a couple minutes) add the garlic and scallions to the olive oil. Cook for about 2 minutes, stirring frequently. Don't let these brown! Next, add the scallions, red onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, pepper and basil. Cook all of this for another 5 minutes or so, continuing to stir frequently. You want the garlic to start getting yellowish, but not browned and give all of the flavors a chance to mix together.
Final touches:
Once both the pasta and veggie medley are ready, combine them in a large bowl (including the olive oil you cooked the veggies in!) and toss them together. Squeeze the 1/2 lime over top of the mix. Toss some more to make sure all the flavors are mixed throughout, and you're ready to go!
Serving:
Serve warm (not hot!) with a sprinkling of feta cheese over top. Makes about 6 full size servings.
This does refrigerate and microwave well. A good sized portion takes 60 seconds to get warmed up perfectly in my microwave.
Enjoy!
As always, let me know if you have tried and enjoyed the recipe!
P.S. If you want to get a small bit of meat in here, I haven't tried it myself but I would bet that if you sauteed some shrimp and added them in here, it would be quite tasty.
The resulting recipe has no name, except for delicious. Here it is:
Ingredients:
- 1 package (8oz) angel hair pasta
- 3 cloves fresh garlic, minced
- 3 whole scallions, chopped
- 1 red onion slice, chopped (I sliced one ring from the middle of the onion)
- 1-2 small white mushroom(s), chopped
- 2 roma tomatoes, chopped
- 1/2 lime
- 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
- 1 tsp fresh ground black pepper
- 2 tsp fresh chopped basil
Preparing the pasta:
Boil 3 quarts water, add noodles to the boiling water, let the water return to boiling, then cook for an additional 3-4 minutes or until noodles are tender. Careful not to overcook! Once thoroughly cooked, drain and rinse with cold water to ensure they don't continue cooking.
Preparing the rest:
In a large skillet, heat up the olive oil. Once warmed up (just a couple minutes) add the garlic and scallions to the olive oil. Cook for about 2 minutes, stirring frequently. Don't let these brown! Next, add the scallions, red onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, pepper and basil. Cook all of this for another 5 minutes or so, continuing to stir frequently. You want the garlic to start getting yellowish, but not browned and give all of the flavors a chance to mix together.
Final touches:
Once both the pasta and veggie medley are ready, combine them in a large bowl (including the olive oil you cooked the veggies in!) and toss them together. Squeeze the 1/2 lime over top of the mix. Toss some more to make sure all the flavors are mixed throughout, and you're ready to go!
Serving:
Serve warm (not hot!) with a sprinkling of feta cheese over top. Makes about 6 full size servings.
This does refrigerate and microwave well. A good sized portion takes 60 seconds to get warmed up perfectly in my microwave.
Enjoy!
As always, let me know if you have tried and enjoyed the recipe!
P.S. If you want to get a small bit of meat in here, I haven't tried it myself but I would bet that if you sauteed some shrimp and added them in here, it would be quite tasty.
28 June, 2008
Highs and lows
Life definitely has these, all the damn time. Today was going great. Hanging out with my buddy Don and his kids. We had lunch, I went and picked a new SWEET tv, we had just gotten that dropped off and were heading to a movie, when BAM! A lady pulled right out in front of me in an intersection. What is it with people and pulling in front of me? Seriously. It's like I've got a big flashing sign over my head saying "PLEASE PULL IN FRONT OF ME!" So now the front end of my car is all smashed up. The passenger side headlight is hanging down, the entire bumper is hanging down, as is the front grill. It's quite lovely. Luckily, nobody was hurt... and the airbag didn't deploy. Still though, it sucks ass. I can't even really drive at night now, because one of my headlights is popped out. Hell I don't even really want to drive much at all if I don't have to. I'm worried parts might start falling off.
sigh.
Oh well, at least I can sit here and watch my pretty new TV. I may be moving in a week, but I just couldn't help myself. There's no way something like that is going to stay in the box around me. :)
sigh.
Oh well, at least I can sit here and watch my pretty new TV. I may be moving in a week, but I just couldn't help myself. There's no way something like that is going to stay in the box around me. :)
28 May, 2008
A whole new level of frustration
This whole low iodine diet thing is going to kill me one of these days. Not only is it a hassle to have to cook all of my meals, with very limited ingredients... but I'm also staying with friends right now, so I don't have all of my normal kitchenware and spices. Then to top things off, since I am staying with friends, my entire life is packed up in boxes in the garage... which, up until 5 minutes ago, included all of my cookbooks and loose recipes. Just about an hour ago, I began the endeavor to hunt for these materials... and I have just now finally gotten to sit back down at my computer, finally having achieved my goal. I had to, quite literally, climb around, over and THROUGH all of my belongings. I opened nearly ever box that I had packed in the hopes that these were in there. Now, I know what you're thinking... cook books, the box should be labeled "Books". That's what I thought. Next logical guess.. "Kitchen". Nope. Then I started going through the unlabeled boxes, of which I had plenty. I packed and moved in a bit of a hurry. By the time I got to the last 2 boxes, I was about ready to give up. One of the boxes is nigh impossible to get to without removing half of my other belongings first. The other box, which was in fact right out in front within easy access, I had discounted right off because it was far too large. Certainly I wouldn't put books in a box that large. ...right? Oh well the hell, so I tried it, and lo and behold, there are my freaking cookbooks.
Damn that sucked.
At least I can say I got a good workout today. Even if it wasn't rock climbing, my thus-far limited experience with it certainly helped, finding foot holds and hand holds through that mess.
...now I have to spend the time actually cooking something. Ugh.
I think I may just go get some of The Joey Pizza.
Damn that sucked.
At least I can say I got a good workout today. Even if it wasn't rock climbing, my thus-far limited experience with it certainly helped, finding foot holds and hand holds through that mess.
...now I have to spend the time actually cooking something. Ugh.
I think I may just go get some of The Joey Pizza.
27 May, 2008
The Joey Pizza
Alright so I've been enjoying this pizza so much (in fact, a few cold slices served as breakfast this morning -- yes, it is incredible cold) that I decided I should post it up here to share with the world. Really, I can't take credit for the creation myself. That credit goes to Eric Geryol, owner of Boulders on Broadway, which is a bar I happen to frequent. The reason this pizza is that I was on a low iodine diet at the time, and there was no way Eric was going to let me be stuck at home because no restaurants would cater to me. Out of the many dishes I tried, this one stood out in amazing glory. Now granted, there is *some* iodine in this pizza, because there are minimal amounts used in the dough and perhaps a bit in the pizza sauce (I have also gotten it without the sauce though and it is still wonderful.) This pizza can be easily made at home, however, using the pizza dough and tomato sauce recipes from ThyCa's low iodine cookbook.
Anyhow, without any further ado, the pizza is as follows:
Not only is this pizza one of the staples of my low iodine diet, I have continued ordering it regularly since... and other people have actually called me up to ask what was on it so that they could order it as well!
If you try this pizza out, let me know what you think! Also, if you happen to be around Tempe, AZ and craving a pizza, I highly recommend stopping into Boulders on Broadway and trying out the original! This place has the best pizza in town, by far.
Enjoy! Also keep a look out, I may be posting some more recipes soon, as I'm starting back on the diet for a few weeks.
Anyhow, without any further ado, the pizza is as follows:
- Thin crust (essential!)
- No cheese
- Pizza sauce (optional, as noted above)
- Artichoke hearts
- Garlic (actual chunks, not just powder)
- Basil
- Balsamic vinegar
Not only is this pizza one of the staples of my low iodine diet, I have continued ordering it regularly since... and other people have actually called me up to ask what was on it so that they could order it as well!
If you try this pizza out, let me know what you think! Also, if you happen to be around Tempe, AZ and craving a pizza, I highly recommend stopping into Boulders on Broadway and trying out the original! This place has the best pizza in town, by far.
Enjoy! Also keep a look out, I may be posting some more recipes soon, as I'm starting back on the diet for a few weeks.
16 May, 2008
The last bit of my sanity is officially gone
I just proved this to myself a minute ago. You see, for anybody who didn't know, I'm a bit of a weather nut. I enjoy monitoring and learning about the weather... so I've got all kinds of notifications going on my computers for different kinds of weather events. So just a few minutes ago, a severe weather alert pops up. Curious... these are usually just for big storms, and our cloud cover just rolled out of here last night. After clicking and waiting anxiously for the page to load, I am presented with the following:
Oh well, it's more fun this way! Now I can go swimming this weekend, get another sunburn the color of a fire truck and not care! Hooray! :D
...RECORD BREAKING HEAT EXPECTED ACROSS THE SOUTHEAST CALIFORNIA AND SOUTHWEST ARIZONA DESERTS...WITH NEAR RECORD HIGH TEMPERATURES ACROSS THE GREATER PHOENIX AREA THIS WEEKEND INTO EARLY NEXT WEEK...Now most people... normal, sensible, sane people anyhow, upon reading this would react with something along the lines of "Aww crap. Not more heat. Just what we need." That would be the sensible reaction. Of course, me, being far from sensible, my instant reaction was a very emphatic "YES!" accompanied by pumping my fists in the air and doing a little dance of joy in my chair. I think that right there is definitive, irrefutable proof that I have no shred of sanity left in my mind.
A STRONG RIDGE OF HIGH PRESSURE THAT HAS BEEN PARKED ALONG THE WEST COAST WILL SHIFT EASTWARD THIS WEEKEND...FOR SIGNIFICANTLY WARMER WEATHER ACROSS THE DESERT SOUTHWEST. RECORD TO NEAR RECORD HEAT IS EXPECTED SUNDAY AND MONDAY...BEFORE A COOLING TREND BEGINS MIDWEEK. TEMPERATURES ACROSS THE SOUTHEAST CALIFORNIA AND SOUTHWEST ARIZONA DESERTS WILL NEAR 110 DEGREES SUNDAY...WITH A FORECAST HIGH OF 112 DEGREES AT YUMA ARIZONA MONDAY. THE CURRENT RECORD HIGH TEMPERATURE FOR SUNDAY AND MONDAY AT YUMA IS 109 DEGREES.
ACROSS THE GREATER PHOENIX AREA...THE FIRST 100 DEGREE DAY OF THE SEASON IS EXPECTED AT PHOENIX SKY HARBOR AIRPORT SUNDAY...WITH A FORECAST HIGH OF 103 DEGREES SUNDAY AND 106 DEGREES MONDAY.
Oh well, it's more fun this way! Now I can go swimming this weekend, get another sunburn the color of a fire truck and not care! Hooray! :D
21 April, 2008
People are cheap bastards!
It really is true, people are cheap bastards. Especially on Craigslist.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Craigslist. You just won't catch me trying to sell things on there anymore. It doesn't matter how cheap you try to sell something on there, chances are nobody is going to jump on it.
Over the past week, I have been giving away ridiculous amounts of things away on CL and people have been all over them, since they've been free. I've received probably *at least* 50 responses per item, with the first response being only minutes after it was posted. I did try selling 2 items though: a small stereo, and a queen size headboard/frame. The stereo got zero responses. I moved it to the free section and it was gone within hours. The headboard/frame got 2 responses. The first person had an emergency and bailed. The second person came, looked at it, nitpicked, and left. Now I moved it to the free section and, despite the fact that it's 2 days old and not even on the first page, have already received a response.
Damn you, people! Stop being such cheapskates! I've spent probably $300-$400 on items from Craigslist myself. Am I the only person who actually goes on there looking to spend money? Sheesh!
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Craigslist. You just won't catch me trying to sell things on there anymore. It doesn't matter how cheap you try to sell something on there, chances are nobody is going to jump on it.
Over the past week, I have been giving away ridiculous amounts of things away on CL and people have been all over them, since they've been free. I've received probably *at least* 50 responses per item, with the first response being only minutes after it was posted. I did try selling 2 items though: a small stereo, and a queen size headboard/frame. The stereo got zero responses. I moved it to the free section and it was gone within hours. The headboard/frame got 2 responses. The first person had an emergency and bailed. The second person came, looked at it, nitpicked, and left. Now I moved it to the free section and, despite the fact that it's 2 days old and not even on the first page, have already received a response.
Damn you, people! Stop being such cheapskates! I've spent probably $300-$400 on items from Craigslist myself. Am I the only person who actually goes on there looking to spend money? Sheesh!
18 April, 2008
Feeling a bit lost here...
Life really does happen all at once... and it really does suck. I've been through a fair bit in the past year, which has thrown my life into total chaos. Anybody who knows me is well aware of that. Right now, however, seems to be the most troubling for me. I'm supposed to be moving out of my house by Sunday. No big deal there. I'm buying a house, right? Well, we haven't closed on the house yet. In fact, we've run into a snag which may prevent it from closing soon. We're in the final mile and just now being told that it's not going to happen. Of course, this is just my luck. So now I'm supposed to be staying with friends -- the ones who are selling me the house, in fact, until the house is finalized. That's great, don't get me wrong. The problem is, I have a LOT of stuff. They have offered to let me use their garage for storage... but I don't think they understand just how much stuff is involved here. So now I've decided that I'm just going to start giving things away on Craigslist... and I don't mean just one or two things. I mean... well, a lot. Almost all of my furniture. Even my couch is going tomorrow. It feels pretty good to be giving all of these things away... and with this, I'll be able to get new stuff, which is good. I just feel very frantic right now. I'm not really sure where I'm going to be living, and for how long... and I'm not sure where all of my things are going to be, or how long they are going to be there.
One of my biggest problems is going to be my VW Golf. It's in my garage... back in one piece again... but it doesn't run. It doesn't even start. It's been sitting too long as an unattended project. This one could suck.
Anybody got some free space? :)
One of my biggest problems is going to be my VW Golf. It's in my garage... back in one piece again... but it doesn't run. It doesn't even start. It's been sitting too long as an unattended project. This one could suck.
Anybody got some free space? :)
04 April, 2008
...and my list of issues grows even longer.
Not that my new issue is a particularly bad one... or even a new one for me. I just have a name for it now. This particular one is called, apparently, Islomania. Islomania, according to this Wikipedia entry, is an obsession with islands characterized by an irresistible attraction towards them. This would explain my recent longing to visit pretty much any island I can find. It would also explain why I have, at different points in my life, been determined to move to each of the following: Hawaii, The Philippines, Mauritius, Reunion, Isle of Man, Guam, Bermuda, along with a few others. I know that there were some Micronesian islands as well.
I really like the quote from the original identification of the condition:
Atlantis, here I come!
I really like the quote from the original identification of the condition:
We islomanes, says Gideon, are the direct descendants of the Atlanteans, and it is toward the lost Atlantis that our subconscious is drawn.That sounds like a good explanation to me... I'll accept that idea. :)
Atlantis, here I come!
27 March, 2008
Life = Insanity
Yes, it has been several months since I've posted on here again. Bad Tarky, bad!
Life has been, if possible, more insane in these few months. This week, however, seems to be somewhat of a culmination of all of this craziness. Just today I've dealt with car insurance, 2 different people about my health insurance, Big Brothers Big Sisters, City of Chandler, the HOA for the house I'm renting, a mortgage consultant and helping an employee with a broken down car. The good news is, my car is getting fixed, my health insurance is finally getting taken care of so that hopefully everything will get paid off, I'm getting rid of all the old clothes which have been bagged up in my garage the past few months, I'm getting rid of all the large trash that's been cluttering up my back yard, the front yard for this house will stop sucking, I may very soon be a home owner and I may get to help replace a clutch... very good experience there!
The big news there, of course, is the house. This bit of good news, however, comes covered with acid. Apparently not all of my friends are happy with me because of this. To be more specific, I have fully lost one of my best friends, and perhaps gained an enemy solely due to the fact that I am buying a house. Now, okay, we had talked about me moving into her place because I have to be out of my current house by April 20 and I didn't have another place to go. So it worked out great for me. Then recently I had some other friends basically drop a house in my lap and say "Here, buy this. Please. We want you to buy this and we will help in any way we can." Great! What an opportunity! This is of course something which I did convey to the friend I was going to be moving in with and we talked about it very briefly but I had made no final decisions at the time. I would note, however, that not once during these conversations did she say "No, you can't do that, I need you to move into my place like we talked about before." To me that basically solidified the fact that offering me a place was basically just a friendly gesture... which I appreciate greatly. As I found out today, after conveying the good news of the house, it was apparently not. What I am hearing now is that she needs me to move in so that she can cover the bills. Great for me to know that NOW.
This puts me in quite a dilemma. Do I drop out of the home buying process now, so that I can help a friend? Do I continue buying the house and just let this friendship drop? I don't want to lose a friend, for sure. She has been a wonderful friend and helped me through a lot. Then again, this whole situation is, for lack of a better term, pretty fucked up. From our brief conversation today I picked up on a few things. The first one was, of course, that she can be quite self centered sometimes. It's very rare that I do something for myself as opposed to doing everything I can for everybody else. This is something that people have been getting on my case about for a long time now, including the very friend now angry at me for doing this. The second piece is, seeing how she knew about the house opportunity and that I was interested in buying it, that means that she ASSUMED I was going to fail in some form or another. In her mind, there was never any possibility that it would actually happen. What kind of friend is going to assume that you will fail in your endeavors?
Either way, I'm out of a backup place to live now, in case the mortgage falls through for whatever reason. Today was just initial application and docs. There are still a million things that could go wrong. Hell, I could even decide to back out still at this point.... I think. Not that I would want to, this is a pretty exciting prospect for me. This is like a defining point in my life, buying my first house... and most importantly doing it on my own.
I think my new motto is going to be: Fuck it all, I need a drink.
Life has been, if possible, more insane in these few months. This week, however, seems to be somewhat of a culmination of all of this craziness. Just today I've dealt with car insurance, 2 different people about my health insurance, Big Brothers Big Sisters, City of Chandler, the HOA for the house I'm renting, a mortgage consultant and helping an employee with a broken down car. The good news is, my car is getting fixed, my health insurance is finally getting taken care of so that hopefully everything will get paid off, I'm getting rid of all the old clothes which have been bagged up in my garage the past few months, I'm getting rid of all the large trash that's been cluttering up my back yard, the front yard for this house will stop sucking, I may very soon be a home owner and I may get to help replace a clutch... very good experience there!
The big news there, of course, is the house. This bit of good news, however, comes covered with acid. Apparently not all of my friends are happy with me because of this. To be more specific, I have fully lost one of my best friends, and perhaps gained an enemy solely due to the fact that I am buying a house. Now, okay, we had talked about me moving into her place because I have to be out of my current house by April 20 and I didn't have another place to go. So it worked out great for me. Then recently I had some other friends basically drop a house in my lap and say "Here, buy this. Please. We want you to buy this and we will help in any way we can." Great! What an opportunity! This is of course something which I did convey to the friend I was going to be moving in with and we talked about it very briefly but I had made no final decisions at the time. I would note, however, that not once during these conversations did she say "No, you can't do that, I need you to move into my place like we talked about before." To me that basically solidified the fact that offering me a place was basically just a friendly gesture... which I appreciate greatly. As I found out today, after conveying the good news of the house, it was apparently not. What I am hearing now is that she needs me to move in so that she can cover the bills. Great for me to know that NOW.
This puts me in quite a dilemma. Do I drop out of the home buying process now, so that I can help a friend? Do I continue buying the house and just let this friendship drop? I don't want to lose a friend, for sure. She has been a wonderful friend and helped me through a lot. Then again, this whole situation is, for lack of a better term, pretty fucked up. From our brief conversation today I picked up on a few things. The first one was, of course, that she can be quite self centered sometimes. It's very rare that I do something for myself as opposed to doing everything I can for everybody else. This is something that people have been getting on my case about for a long time now, including the very friend now angry at me for doing this. The second piece is, seeing how she knew about the house opportunity and that I was interested in buying it, that means that she ASSUMED I was going to fail in some form or another. In her mind, there was never any possibility that it would actually happen. What kind of friend is going to assume that you will fail in your endeavors?
Either way, I'm out of a backup place to live now, in case the mortgage falls through for whatever reason. Today was just initial application and docs. There are still a million things that could go wrong. Hell, I could even decide to back out still at this point.... I think. Not that I would want to, this is a pretty exciting prospect for me. This is like a defining point in my life, buying my first house... and most importantly doing it on my own.
I think my new motto is going to be: Fuck it all, I need a drink.
18 December, 2007
Low iodine confusion
Even though I am drawing near to the end of my current cycle of the low iodine diet, I have still been looking into the specifics more and more closely over recent days. This is especially after receiving a print-out from my doctor's office yesterday (I had been instructed over the phone to begin the LID, thus never received it before) which brought up many questions for me.
You see, every publication I have found regarding the low iodine diet disagrees on some points... usually several. In general, they agree on most things. I have found some almost disturbing discrepancies, however. For instance, every guideline I have seen so far says no soy products. Well, almost. According to Dr. Kenneth Ain, in The Low Iodine Cookbook (Norene Gilletz; Your Health Press, 2005)
Another point of confusion is with fruits. Yes, fruits. According to the ThyCa LID guidelines, there are no issues with fruits, aside from maraschino cherries and rhubarb. They make for wonderful snack foods and there are no problems with any fruits aside from the two mentioned. I have been going by this notion for the duration of my diet so far... only to find that this may be grossly wrong. The banana & strawberry smoothies I have been making for breakfast may in fact be quite high in iodine. The guidelines I received from my doctor yesterday states:
I could continue on and on with the discrepancies between the diets, but what's the point? Nobody really agrees. For my own sanity, however, I need a single definitive source. I need to know the iodine content of different foods. I need to know what foods I can and cannot eat while on this diet. I was astounded yesterday when I was reprimanded for drinking orange juice on the diet, by a lab technician who was assisting with my case! Not even doctor's staff knows the specifics of the diet! This should go to show just how contended the diet really is!
I think I have some work ahead of me...
You see, every publication I have found regarding the low iodine diet disagrees on some points... usually several. In general, they agree on most things. I have found some almost disturbing discrepancies, however. For instance, every guideline I have seen so far says no soy products. Well, almost. According to Dr. Kenneth Ain, in The Low Iodine Cookbook (Norene Gilletz; Your Health Press, 2005)
Soy lecithin is extracted from soy oil, rather than the protein parts, and has just trace amounts of soy proteins (only enough to bother people with soy allergies). Soy oil, in reasonable amounts (usually as part of a vegetable oil mixture or a minor ingredient) won’t add any discernible iodine to the diet and is not goitrogenic. There is no reason to think that soy lecithin is in any way unsafe for the LID.Okay, good to know. SOME soy products are safe. Then I receive these guidelines from my doctor's office yesterday, and there is NO mention of soy at all. Not a single word of it.
Another point of confusion is with fruits. Yes, fruits. According to the ThyCa LID guidelines, there are no issues with fruits, aside from maraschino cherries and rhubarb. They make for wonderful snack foods and there are no problems with any fruits aside from the two mentioned. I have been going by this notion for the duration of my diet so far... only to find that this may be grossly wrong. The banana & strawberry smoothies I have been making for breakfast may in fact be quite high in iodine. The guidelines I received from my doctor yesterday states:
Allowed fruits and fruit juices: Apple (fresh only), apple juice, apricots (fresh only), avocado, berries, cherries (fresh only), cranberries, figs (fresh only), grapefruit, grape juice, grapes, mangos, lemon juice, melons, nectarines, oranges, orange juice, peaches (fresh only), pineapple (canned), pineapple juice, plums, tangerinesNow I have found, through my own research today, thanks to The World's Healthiest Foods Website, that strawberries are in fact one of the most iodine rich foods in the world. This source, at least, provides solid numbers. This I can work with. I'm tired of all of these lists of do's and don'ts with no numbers or resources to back them up. I need to start finding solid numbers.
Disallowed fruits: Bananas, dried fruit (raisins), applesauce, fresh pineapple, canned peaches or any fruit not listed in the foods allowed.
I could continue on and on with the discrepancies between the diets, but what's the point? Nobody really agrees. For my own sanity, however, I need a single definitive source. I need to know the iodine content of different foods. I need to know what foods I can and cannot eat while on this diet. I was astounded yesterday when I was reprimanded for drinking orange juice on the diet, by a lab technician who was assisting with my case! Not even doctor's staff knows the specifics of the diet! This should go to show just how contended the diet really is!
I think I have some work ahead of me...
Cancer haiku!
I'm disappointed
I got irradiated
...and I still don't glow.
Don't ask. These things just come to me out of the aether.
I got irradiated
...and I still don't glow.
Don't ask. These things just come to me out of the aether.
14 December, 2007
Hooray for TSH!
I get radiation Monday! Yay! (I know. Strange to be cheering for being irradiated... but it is a good thing.)
Obviously, it did not happen this past Tuesday. When I first got my blood tested for TSH levels, on the 4th, I believe my I was at a 12. Now I realize that this number, by itself, means nothing... it will become slightly more clear though. This past Monday, I went in to get checked again (see my previous posts...) and my levels came back at a 25. Unfortunately, this did not meet the required level of 35. Hence the lack of radiation on Tuesday. Of course, this does not get me off the hook for radiation, nor would I want it to. So yesterday, I went in to get tested again. I just got the call from the doctor, and obviously, from the beginning of the post, I met the required levels. Not only did I go up to 35... I shot all the way up to 52! Holy crap! (I *believe* these measurements are in parts per billion, in case you're curious.) I guess I've been doing a good job with this diet after all! Hell, I've already been working on planning a Christmas feast with all low iodine ingredients! ...and if anybody has recommendations on that, I'm open to them...
Anyways, I'm happy! 10:00am on Monday, I go in to get my dose! YAY!
EDIT: It turns out, the TSH measurement unit is in uU/ml, which means picograms per milliliter... a picogram being one trillionth of a gram. Learn something every day!
Obviously, it did not happen this past Tuesday. When I first got my blood tested for TSH levels, on the 4th, I believe my I was at a 12. Now I realize that this number, by itself, means nothing... it will become slightly more clear though. This past Monday, I went in to get checked again (see my previous posts...) and my levels came back at a 25. Unfortunately, this did not meet the required level of 35. Hence the lack of radiation on Tuesday. Of course, this does not get me off the hook for radiation, nor would I want it to. So yesterday, I went in to get tested again. I just got the call from the doctor, and obviously, from the beginning of the post, I met the required levels. Not only did I go up to 35... I shot all the way up to 52! Holy crap! (I *believe* these measurements are in parts per billion, in case you're curious.) I guess I've been doing a good job with this diet after all! Hell, I've already been working on planning a Christmas feast with all low iodine ingredients! ...and if anybody has recommendations on that, I'm open to them...
Anyways, I'm happy! 10:00am on Monday, I go in to get my dose! YAY!
EDIT: It turns out, the TSH measurement unit is in uU/ml, which means picograms per milliliter... a picogram being one trillionth of a gram. Learn something every day!
Stretch-a-roo!
After almost 9 months with 0 gauge holes in my ears, I finally stretched up to 00. I guess it really was just a matter of time. I was just sitting here at home the other night, getting ready to cook some dinner, and I suddenly said to myself, "Self... I need a stretch." So I ran down to my friendly local piercer, HTC, and got some new suckers popped in! This means that the holes in my ears are now 0.365 inches, or 9.27 millimeters. I wonder how long this one will last...
Plus, on another happy body mod note, I will hopefully be getting back in contact with a tattoo artist I used to know, who I would absolutely LURV to have start my ink!
10 December, 2007
Floating
I feel a bit like I'm floating right now. Not the happy Cloud 9 floating that everybody talks about... this is more like an "in limbo" floating. It's a bit odd.
Right this moment, I should not, by any means, be awake. I should not have the least bit of consciousness. From when I woke up Saturday morning until now, I've had a total of right around 9 hours of sleep... all of it restless, waking constantly, tossing and turning. Basically useless sleep. Yesterday, I was running on mostly adrenaline. Today, I woke myself with coffee which would easily be mistaken for tar. I'm sure that kept me going most of the day. The rest of the day, I've had to keep myself moving. Do a few pull-ups... pace around the house... move some things around... clean, go shopping, whatever. I just spent most of the past 3 hours in the kitchen, cooking. I made a pizza from scratch, each piece of it, from the dough itself, to the hamburger and other toppings. Even the pizza sauce was cooked during all of this. Not only that, I made enough dough for a second pizza, which is now in the freezer... and I took the leftover hamburger that I cooked up and turned it into a mini stir fry of sorts (which would work wonderfully for some fajitas, I must say.) Regardless, my point is, I kept myself running around the kitchen all that time in order to just keep myself going. As soon as I sat down to enjoy the fruits of my labor, I could feel the energy draining from my body. The only problem is, now that I want to go to sleep, I find myself unable to again.
It's an odd thing, being unable to sleep, when you feel exhausted enough to sleep for two days straight. I've never had a problem with insomnia before, but I certainly feel sorry now for people who suffer this chronically. I don't know what it is, really, that's keeping me awake. It could very well be stress. Stress over my cancer... over whether I get radiation in the morning or not. Stress over work... whether I will be able to live up to my word and meet the deadlines that have been set, despite the fact that I can hardly keep myself focused on one thing right now. Writing seems easier to focus on, but this is just a pouring out of my thoughts. I'm not having to think through every possible scenario that this writing could go through, like I have to when I'm writing code.
I think this whole radiation thing may really be getting to me. I'm chomping at the bit for this right now. I've been so freaked out over my diet, I've cut my iodine intake to practically nothing. I take no risks with what I eat. Aside from meals I have cooked myself, the only ones I have had were at my favorite bar, Boulders on Broadway, where they actually have my diet restrictions pinned up in back so that they can figure out things to make for me. I love those people, I really do. How many places would do something like that for just one patron? I can't personally think of any others. They even custom tailored a beer dinner for me. This was an event with around 40 people, eating dishes custom crafted to go with the particular beers that were being presented. Obviously, some of these things, I was unable to eat. Going above and beyond, they created a whole different menu for me to replace these things. This was something I never expected. In fact, I told them I wouldn't be able to attend because of my diet. They would have none of that talk. Obviously.
Possibly the biggest reason I'm still anxious about the radiation right now is that I still don't know if I'm going to be receiving it... and I'm scheduled for 11:00 tomorrow morning. This morning, I went in and got my blood drawn again for my final test. It was written specifically with orders to get the results immediately, by this afternoon. Of course, as has been the case lately, Murphy was lurking in the shadows. The machine which would analyze my blood for TSH levels was not working this morning. This means that they had to send my blood over to Sonora Quest Labs to get the results. Sonora Quest, however, was unable to get the results by this afternoon; they aren't ruled by my doctor's office... they have other orders to fill. Because of all this, my results were delayed until 8:00am tomorrow morning. Three hours before I'm supposed to get my radiation dose. The absolute drop dead cut-off point for my results is 9:00am in order for me to receive the dose at 11:00am.
Several people have suggested sleeping pills already, but honestly, I refuse. Maybe it's that I don't trust the pills. Or maybe it's that I don't trust myself with them. I don't really know... I don't think it really matters. Whatever the case, I won't be using them. I fully intend to simply let myself drift off to sleep in a natural fashion. How I'm going to accomplish that, I'm still not certain.
But I'm certainly going to try.
Right this moment, I should not, by any means, be awake. I should not have the least bit of consciousness. From when I woke up Saturday morning until now, I've had a total of right around 9 hours of sleep... all of it restless, waking constantly, tossing and turning. Basically useless sleep. Yesterday, I was running on mostly adrenaline. Today, I woke myself with coffee which would easily be mistaken for tar. I'm sure that kept me going most of the day. The rest of the day, I've had to keep myself moving. Do a few pull-ups... pace around the house... move some things around... clean, go shopping, whatever. I just spent most of the past 3 hours in the kitchen, cooking. I made a pizza from scratch, each piece of it, from the dough itself, to the hamburger and other toppings. Even the pizza sauce was cooked during all of this. Not only that, I made enough dough for a second pizza, which is now in the freezer... and I took the leftover hamburger that I cooked up and turned it into a mini stir fry of sorts (which would work wonderfully for some fajitas, I must say.) Regardless, my point is, I kept myself running around the kitchen all that time in order to just keep myself going. As soon as I sat down to enjoy the fruits of my labor, I could feel the energy draining from my body. The only problem is, now that I want to go to sleep, I find myself unable to again.
It's an odd thing, being unable to sleep, when you feel exhausted enough to sleep for two days straight. I've never had a problem with insomnia before, but I certainly feel sorry now for people who suffer this chronically. I don't know what it is, really, that's keeping me awake. It could very well be stress. Stress over my cancer... over whether I get radiation in the morning or not. Stress over work... whether I will be able to live up to my word and meet the deadlines that have been set, despite the fact that I can hardly keep myself focused on one thing right now. Writing seems easier to focus on, but this is just a pouring out of my thoughts. I'm not having to think through every possible scenario that this writing could go through, like I have to when I'm writing code.
I think this whole radiation thing may really be getting to me. I'm chomping at the bit for this right now. I've been so freaked out over my diet, I've cut my iodine intake to practically nothing. I take no risks with what I eat. Aside from meals I have cooked myself, the only ones I have had were at my favorite bar, Boulders on Broadway, where they actually have my diet restrictions pinned up in back so that they can figure out things to make for me. I love those people, I really do. How many places would do something like that for just one patron? I can't personally think of any others. They even custom tailored a beer dinner for me. This was an event with around 40 people, eating dishes custom crafted to go with the particular beers that were being presented. Obviously, some of these things, I was unable to eat. Going above and beyond, they created a whole different menu for me to replace these things. This was something I never expected. In fact, I told them I wouldn't be able to attend because of my diet. They would have none of that talk. Obviously.
Possibly the biggest reason I'm still anxious about the radiation right now is that I still don't know if I'm going to be receiving it... and I'm scheduled for 11:00 tomorrow morning. This morning, I went in and got my blood drawn again for my final test. It was written specifically with orders to get the results immediately, by this afternoon. Of course, as has been the case lately, Murphy was lurking in the shadows. The machine which would analyze my blood for TSH levels was not working this morning. This means that they had to send my blood over to Sonora Quest Labs to get the results. Sonora Quest, however, was unable to get the results by this afternoon; they aren't ruled by my doctor's office... they have other orders to fill. Because of all this, my results were delayed until 8:00am tomorrow morning. Three hours before I'm supposed to get my radiation dose. The absolute drop dead cut-off point for my results is 9:00am in order for me to receive the dose at 11:00am.
Several people have suggested sleeping pills already, but honestly, I refuse. Maybe it's that I don't trust the pills. Or maybe it's that I don't trust myself with them. I don't really know... I don't think it really matters. Whatever the case, I won't be using them. I fully intend to simply let myself drift off to sleep in a natural fashion. How I'm going to accomplish that, I'm still not certain.
But I'm certainly going to try.
05 December, 2007
The real effects of cancer
Lance Armstrong said it right in his book, It's Not About The Bike: My Journey Back to Life.
Eventually, however, as this whole ordeal unfolded, that box did come open and I did start to react. I think one of the biggest triggers was when I started reading Mr. Armstrong's book. In the beginning of his book, he recounts his initial trip to the doctor when he first found that he had cancer. Not only did he have testicular cancer, it had metastasized into his lungs. Reading this piece, seeing another person's situation, his reactions, his emotions, was just too much for me to handle. That box opened wide and I finally reacted. I cried. This is cancer. This is serious.
The quote I cited earlier is so true it hurts. After you have cancer, no matter what form, no matter how curable, everything else seems inconsequential. It doesn't matter how successful you are in life, cancer can take all of that away in one fell swoop. So what's the point? These are, in fact, thoughts that I am still fighting with. It's made especially difficult by the fact that I am currently without any thyroid hormones; I was taken off of my pills in preparation for my radioiodine treatment. This has put my entire chemical balance out of wack. Earlier this morning, I was freezing cold... now I'm sweating. I had to fight myself for a half hour to even open my eyes this morning, when normally I jump out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off. Another unfortunate side effect has been my mood changes. I have begun to experience mood swings so bad that I would be labeled as bipolar. All of this is still just the tip of the iceberg though. Needless to say, this has been quite a trying time.
One thing that I have learned from this whole ordeal, however, is more patience... if that's even possible. Since November 23rd, I have been on a special "low iodine" diet. Essentially, I have to cook all of my own food. I can't trust almost any processed, packaged food to be free of iodine. As another nice side effect, this has gotten me into the kitchen much more, and I have been becoming much more handy at cooking. In addition to the diet, I have also been, as I mentioned, off of my medication since November 29th. This is all in preparation for my radioiodine treatment which will be, I am hoping, on December 11th. This is supposing that all of my blood tests come back with the desired results.
The way this whole thing works is, on December 11th, at 11:00am, I will go in to my doctor's office and he will give me a pill. I'm somewhat fuzzy on the exact details at this point, but I'm fairly certain that I will wash down this pill and head home. Now here is a bit of frightening information. For 72 hours after I take this pill, I can not be around infants or pregnant women, as I could cause irreversible damage to the underdeveloped thyroids. It is also recommended that I keep at least a one to two meter distance from other people, just to be safe. Once I have received this pill, 7-10 days later, I will go see the doctor again for a body scan to make sure that the radioiodine was sucked up and is doing the job that it's supposed to be doing. At this point, I will finally be able to go back on a normal diet (first thing I'm eating after is sushi!) and will start taking my medicine again. This will be a glorious day, I assure you. Just in time for Christmas vacation as well! Of course, this is all assuming that the TSH levels in my blood are at an appropriate level, indicating that my body is severely starved of iodine.
So now, this whole thing has been going on since August, when I first went to see Dr. Smith. The main part of the treatment will be finished near the end of December... but it won't really be over. I'm going to be taking pills for the rest of my life, to replace the hormones that my thyroid would be producing. I am also going to have to go in for yearly body scans... meaning that I will be dealing with this diet and no medicine again, once a year. If I ever move, I will have to get copies of all of my medical records (which I have been keeping a personal copy of now anyhow) and find a new endocrinologist immediately near my new home. Then again, Dr. Duick is, in himself, a reason not to move. From everything I have heard and experienced so far, he is one of the best. Hell, when I scheduled my first post-op appointment with him, I wasn't able to get in to see him for over a month! That says something about his demand, for sure. What are the chances that I can find somebody as good in a new location?
I said before that all of this has taught me more patience, and it had. That's not the only thing it has taught me though. Through all of this I have gained more humility, awareness, compassion... and certainly knowledge. You don't go through something like cancer without learning about exactly what is happening to you. I ask the doctors and nurses about everything; what they're doing and why, what they are looking for when they draw my blood, what the results are and what ranges they are looking for on everything. Cancer is certainly not something I would ever wish on another living being... but it is most definitely a growing experience which most people would benefit greatly from. A bit of an odd sentiment, I realize, but very true. Here's an even stranger way of putting it: I think that society as a whole would benefit, and be much better for it, if everybody had to go through the experience of dealing with cancer in some way. Then again, we may just end up with a society full of lazy people, never wanting to work again...
When you have lived for an entire year terrified of dying, you feel like you deserve to spend the rest of your days on a permanent vacation. You can't, of course; you have to return to your family, your peers, and your profession.Now granted, I haven't gone through anywhere near the ordeal that Mr. Armstrong did, and I am eternally grateful for that, but the same thing still applies. You see, when I was first in Dr. Glenn Rothman's office and he told me that I had cancer, I had no reaction. None at all. I just said, "Okay. What do I do now?" as though it were an everyday thing. I said it the same way I would place an order for food. No emotion, just a routine piece of conversation. This was my personal form of shock. Any and all emotions I had in reaction to what I had just found out went straight to the back of my mind, locked away in a little box, marked "Do not open."
Eventually, however, as this whole ordeal unfolded, that box did come open and I did start to react. I think one of the biggest triggers was when I started reading Mr. Armstrong's book. In the beginning of his book, he recounts his initial trip to the doctor when he first found that he had cancer. Not only did he have testicular cancer, it had metastasized into his lungs. Reading this piece, seeing another person's situation, his reactions, his emotions, was just too much for me to handle. That box opened wide and I finally reacted. I cried. This is cancer. This is serious.
The quote I cited earlier is so true it hurts. After you have cancer, no matter what form, no matter how curable, everything else seems inconsequential. It doesn't matter how successful you are in life, cancer can take all of that away in one fell swoop. So what's the point? These are, in fact, thoughts that I am still fighting with. It's made especially difficult by the fact that I am currently without any thyroid hormones; I was taken off of my pills in preparation for my radioiodine treatment. This has put my entire chemical balance out of wack. Earlier this morning, I was freezing cold... now I'm sweating. I had to fight myself for a half hour to even open my eyes this morning, when normally I jump out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off. Another unfortunate side effect has been my mood changes. I have begun to experience mood swings so bad that I would be labeled as bipolar. All of this is still just the tip of the iceberg though. Needless to say, this has been quite a trying time.
One thing that I have learned from this whole ordeal, however, is more patience... if that's even possible. Since November 23rd, I have been on a special "low iodine" diet. Essentially, I have to cook all of my own food. I can't trust almost any processed, packaged food to be free of iodine. As another nice side effect, this has gotten me into the kitchen much more, and I have been becoming much more handy at cooking. In addition to the diet, I have also been, as I mentioned, off of my medication since November 29th. This is all in preparation for my radioiodine treatment which will be, I am hoping, on December 11th. This is supposing that all of my blood tests come back with the desired results.
The way this whole thing works is, on December 11th, at 11:00am, I will go in to my doctor's office and he will give me a pill. I'm somewhat fuzzy on the exact details at this point, but I'm fairly certain that I will wash down this pill and head home. Now here is a bit of frightening information. For 72 hours after I take this pill, I can not be around infants or pregnant women, as I could cause irreversible damage to the underdeveloped thyroids. It is also recommended that I keep at least a one to two meter distance from other people, just to be safe. Once I have received this pill, 7-10 days later, I will go see the doctor again for a body scan to make sure that the radioiodine was sucked up and is doing the job that it's supposed to be doing. At this point, I will finally be able to go back on a normal diet (first thing I'm eating after is sushi!) and will start taking my medicine again. This will be a glorious day, I assure you. Just in time for Christmas vacation as well! Of course, this is all assuming that the TSH levels in my blood are at an appropriate level, indicating that my body is severely starved of iodine.
So now, this whole thing has been going on since August, when I first went to see Dr. Smith. The main part of the treatment will be finished near the end of December... but it won't really be over. I'm going to be taking pills for the rest of my life, to replace the hormones that my thyroid would be producing. I am also going to have to go in for yearly body scans... meaning that I will be dealing with this diet and no medicine again, once a year. If I ever move, I will have to get copies of all of my medical records (which I have been keeping a personal copy of now anyhow) and find a new endocrinologist immediately near my new home. Then again, Dr. Duick is, in himself, a reason not to move. From everything I have heard and experienced so far, he is one of the best. Hell, when I scheduled my first post-op appointment with him, I wasn't able to get in to see him for over a month! That says something about his demand, for sure. What are the chances that I can find somebody as good in a new location?
I said before that all of this has taught me more patience, and it had. That's not the only thing it has taught me though. Through all of this I have gained more humility, awareness, compassion... and certainly knowledge. You don't go through something like cancer without learning about exactly what is happening to you. I ask the doctors and nurses about everything; what they're doing and why, what they are looking for when they draw my blood, what the results are and what ranges they are looking for on everything. Cancer is certainly not something I would ever wish on another living being... but it is most definitely a growing experience which most people would benefit greatly from. A bit of an odd sentiment, I realize, but very true. Here's an even stranger way of putting it: I think that society as a whole would benefit, and be much better for it, if everybody had to go through the experience of dealing with cancer in some way. Then again, we may just end up with a society full of lazy people, never wanting to work again...
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