Life = Insanity

Yes, it has been several months since I've posted on here again. Bad Tarky, bad!

Life has been, if possible, more insane in these few months. This week, however, seems to be somewhat of a culmination of all of this craziness. Just today I've dealt with car insurance, 2 different people about my health insurance, Big Brothers Big Sisters, City of Chandler, the HOA for the house I'm renting, a mortgage consultant and helping an employee with a broken down car. The good news is, my car is getting fixed, my health insurance is finally getting taken care of so that hopefully everything will get paid off, I'm getting rid of all the old clothes which have been bagged up in my garage the past few months, I'm getting rid of all the large trash that's been cluttering up my back yard, the front yard for this house will stop sucking, I may very soon be a home owner and I may get to help replace a clutch... very good experience there!

The big news there, of course, is the house. This bit of good news, however, comes covered with acid. Apparently not all of my friends are happy with me because of this. To be more specific, I have fully lost one of my best friends, and perhaps gained an enemy solely due to the fact that I am buying a house. Now, okay, we had talked about me moving into her place because I have to be out of my current house by April 20 and I didn't have another place to go. So it worked out great for me. Then recently I had some other friends basically drop a house in my lap and say "Here, buy this. Please. We want you to buy this and we will help in any way we can." Great! What an opportunity! This is of course something which I did convey to the friend I was going to be moving in with and we talked about it very briefly but I had made no final decisions at the time. I would note, however, that not once during these conversations did she say "No, you can't do that, I need you to move into my place like we talked about before." To me that basically solidified the fact that offering me a place was basically just a friendly gesture... which I appreciate greatly. As I found out today, after conveying the good news of the house, it was apparently not. What I am hearing now is that she needs me to move in so that she can cover the bills. Great for me to know that NOW.

This puts me in quite a dilemma. Do I drop out of the home buying process now, so that I can help a friend? Do I continue buying the house and just let this friendship drop? I don't want to lose a friend, for sure. She has been a wonderful friend and helped me through a lot. Then again, this whole situation is, for lack of a better term, pretty fucked up. From our brief conversation today I picked up on a few things. The first one was, of course, that she can be quite self centered sometimes. It's very rare that I do something for myself as opposed to doing everything I can for everybody else. This is something that people have been getting on my case about for a long time now, including the very friend now angry at me for doing this. The second piece is, seeing how she knew about the house opportunity and that I was interested in buying it, that means that she ASSUMED I was going to fail in some form or another. In her mind, there was never any possibility that it would actually happen. What kind of friend is going to assume that you will fail in your endeavors?

Either way, I'm out of a backup place to live now, in case the mortgage falls through for whatever reason. Today was just initial application and docs. There are still a million things that could go wrong. Hell, I could even decide to back out still at this point.... I think. Not that I would want to, this is a pretty exciting prospect for me. This is like a defining point in my life, buying my first house... and most importantly doing it on my own.

I think my new motto is going to be: Fuck it all, I need a drink.